People often ask me what its like living in Ibiza. I think in their heads they conjure up images of days lounging in beach clubs and nights raving it up in Amnesia….. I guess the reality for me isn’t too far from that!! Generally we do spend a lot of time on the beach and im certainly up all night most nights, just with a sleepless baby rather than on a dancefloor.
I adore life on the island, but it does come with its challenges. I chose to leave the 9-5 at home and embark on a lifestyle of seasons and extremes. Winters are slow and quiet (not so quiet since ive had the boys), manageable and calm. Summers are fast and hard and crazy. This is the life we chose and I don't regret it. I love a good moan about it, but I wouldn’t change it for the alternative. Every day I cant believe my life. The sunshine and the sea, the beauties that are here on the island and the childhood my little ones have ahead of them. Sometimes its easy to forget, and overlook your winnings when you are feeling stressed. But you can appreciate what you have while also feeling overwhelmed.
I have 2 months of the year where I have the opportunity to make my money and I have to take it. Living and working on a seasonal island means seasonal business. By having the hectic “work every day” months like June, it allows me to have the other months spending most of my time with my boys. Even though I know why I do it, it is impossible for me not to feel guilty.
The anxiety and the overwhelm come with the juggling of everything. Its not just work, its not just the boys….its all the other small things that make up life all happening at once. Add in the extra visits from friends and family and the general busyness of the island and Summer here can be pretty intense for a mother.
After stretching out my maternity leave as much as I could possibly manage, as the maternity pay dried up, and the savings diminished, it was time to start bringing in some cash again. So this year I’ve got back to work. Luckily for me, I have a flexible job, I work part-time and on a schedule that works with my boys. But when it comes to June (I’m a wedding planner so June is peak wedding season), almost every day is slammed with work. My mum and my in-laws fly out to help us with extra care for the children and we all just buckle down and get through it.
The busy work period brings with it a huge truckload of the dreaded “mum guilt” I am often out of the house for long hours during June and there was even a few nights where I had to stay away from home because of the lack of hours available for sleep in between jobs. The guilt that I felt for this was incredible. But it had to be done.
I try to be mindful when I am with the kids, and that means that when I am with them - I am with them, not working or constantly looking at my phone. But the to do list is always there in my head, and the longer it goes not getting done the more the panic rises. After an afternoon with the boys, once they are in bed I look at my phone and my whatsapp unopened messages alone are enough to send anyone over the edge, then I often have a load of emails, or Mothership posts or house cleaning to do. There honestly aren't enough hours in the day.
Add on top of that the mental load of running a household, worrying about if I am raising my kids properly, keeping my relationship thriving, staying close with loved ones and keeping in touch with family and friends at home, making time for self care, taking care of my money, my health...The list could go on forever of the points that race through my head on a daily basis.
Any Mother (I hope it isn't just me) can relate to the mental load being absolutely excruciating. But for those working mothers on a seasonal island - the season is just next level. It takes a strong woman to come out the other end unscathed.
I think it is important to be able to talk about feeling overwhelmed. To talk about the anxiety and worries that we face as mothers living away from our families. By expressing the stress, we aren’t saying we are ungrateful or we are being spoilt. It is a-lot. And you know what, even after writing this - I feel a bit lighter.
In fact I do have some advice for mums on the island feeling overwhelmed. Head to the beach or go for a drive to somewhere on the isand you dont usually go. My dad arrived yesterday and we went on a drive to Es Cubells and had some lunch in a gorgeous little chiringuito there called Ses Boques. Even just taking a couple hours to do something lovely and be by the sea, see the gorgeous views that dont normally make it into day to day life - made such a difference to my overall mood. I actually came back ready to go again....... hence me finally finishing this blog!
Anyone else feeling the overwhelm? I would love to hear from you, let me know your experience and if you agree or disagree in the comments below.
See you soon,
Lou x
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